Pieces of Lies

Pieces of Lies - Angela Richardson I didn't know what to expect when i started this novel, half of my friends loved it, half of them hated it. But as it is i was intrigued. So i got it.

My reaction???
Jimmy

Dear Ms. Richardson,

The quill is, indeed, mightier then the sword. I say put it the hell down before you kill us all.

It's safe to say that Angela Richardson got one thing right. The name of the novel. Everything else was a massive mess of such unbelievable gibberish, that I honestly couldn't believe she had the balls calling it a novel.

Let's start at the beginning shall we?

We meet Norah, the 'heroine' of this disaster, who just switched to a new college, and has a 'dark secret'. The 'dark secret' has to do with the life of crime her family leads. How do i know this if i gave up reading it so early? The answer is simple. Trough the authors thinly veiled clues, that are so creatively inserted they might as well have a massive neon sign over them pointing down and flashing "Lookie here!!!"

Nora the Heroine is also an artist.. see, she paints, see.... with her naked body, see....

Now i have an idea that the author wanted us to envision something like this....


But courtesy to her talented writing the image i got in my head was something more like this...


If you read the book you would understand that the guy holding the fish is actually Clint... what can i say???? They shared an important moment together.

Moving on.

Norah likes her BFF Josh, and is pretty certain he wants her back. He is going to an important party, the very last trial before he gets accepted into a super secret society called the Lappell or something. I don't know if i even spelled it correctly nor do i care. But Josh has a very specific task for the evening. Bring a virgin, and make sure that she isn't a virgin at the end of the night. (There is something extremely stupid in regards to all this, just hold on, we are getting there) Josh being the gentleman he is doesn't want Norah to go. But Norah has a better idea, let's hear it from the author's mouth:

“Josh always did have a hard time resisting my excessive pleading when I wanted something.” The excessive pleading??? It's called whining and bitching.

So he caves in, due to her using her feminine charms, and they get to the party. Josh, being a best friend and love interest that he is, tries to warn her what is expected of her just before they walk into the mansion. They are greeted by the young owner of the place named Clint. Instantly good ole Josh the heart throb is forgotten as her loins tighten in the presence of blond, rich Adonis here. Clint manages to get her away for about 5 minutes, and Norah being the clever, clever girl that she is picks up on the 'strange' vibe and shoots off to find Josh banging another woman (who happens to be blond and slutty-don't you just hate when that happens?), and storms off into the night.

Norah then proceeds to give Josh the cold shoulder for a while, giving her the opportunity to connect with Clint, who happens to walk in her life after one of her passionate painting sessions. Naturally he is hooked on her uniqueness, and amazing awesomeness.

Norah and Clint connect, flirt, and kiss eventually, but then he gives her a cold shoulder for a while. A perfect opening for Josh to come back. Now i don't know about you, but i would be very upset if a man i liked and knew he liked me back, took me to a party where i was supposed to trade in my virginity for his betterment in life. Not just that, he was supposed to be a long time friend and confidante. But hell no, she shrugs it off as being a small mistake, everyone makes them, right, and agrees to go to ANOTHER PARTY WITH THE SAME PEOPLE TO HELP HIM OUT YET AGAIN, BECAUSE ORIGINALLY HE FILED HIS ASSIGNMENT BECAUSE SHE STILL HAD HER CHERRY!!!????????

What Did You Say?

A very special thank you goes out tho the author for allowing us to come close, and truly appreciate the sheer magnitude of stupidity needed in the creation of the character of Norah. On behalf of those with a brain and an ounce of self respect, I say: Good job!

Conan Approves

She, our Norah, being the super-intelligent, amazing, talented, irreplaceable, beacon of virtuous femininity nails the challenge without batting a perfectly made up eyelash, and off goes Josh riding into the night to complete his assignment. And lo and behold she is left with Clint! *gasp*

So what else is there to do when you are spending your evening being glamorous, and rubbing shoulders with the world's most rich and powerful who happen to be a part of a secret society?
Go swimming in your underwear, of course!!!!!

And now we come to the stupid part of it all, the one i've mentioned before.....They get caught BY CLINT'S MOTHER!!! I mean hold the f*ck up, just back it up!! Are you trying to tell me that his mommy is in on the super secret society parties, that are so secret in fact that everything that goes around on them becomes instant college gossip in a blink of an eye? And is discussed by one and all? No way!

But wait!



The deflowering party was in Clint's house too.... Was his mommy there as well??? And if she was, what on earth was she doing??? I can't imagine. Can you?



Long story even longer, somewhere half way trough this garbage we get introduced to Samuel, yet another guy that seems to pop out of nowhere and is in fact Norah's ex fiancee, who is so important to her, she never gave him a thought. Sure she mentioned some exes in her incoherent babble but not by name.

So now there are three, THREE guys after her! And how could they resist? Norah is so talented, she sells out almost all her paintings, so smart she gets to the bottom of every mystery, so awesome and unique she is one of the rare women just invited to the Lappell, in fact they are so desperate to have her, she doesn't even need to go trough initiation, and so beautiful she stops men's hearts from beating and apparently their brains from working too. I just gave up at that point.