Close Liaisons

Close Liaisons - Anna Zaires I am a fan of erotica and i have so far encountered erotic novels that fogged up my reader, made me laugh, made me cringe, made me wipe down my reader with bleach, made my eyes roll, but until now i have never found one that bored me to that degree that i found myself drifting off to sleep while reading it.

I guess there is a first time for everything.

The author chose to find inspiration in books like 50 Shades, and Anita Blake, to that degree that it was obvious as soon as you reached a certain paragraph, but unlike E.L. James or Laurell K. Hamliton, Zaires delivers sex scenes that are mildly disturbing. More on that below.

Mia gets spotted by a K while she was sitting in a park. He goes all "I will have you, you're mine" . She runs away, he stalks. After getting tired of the cat and mouse game Mia goes to him and they do the deed. She feels afraid of all the attention she gets from an alien and her roommate gets her in touch with her cousin that is with the Resistance.

Her cousin informs her that she is marked, she can't run away without being found, and that she is a 'charl' witch means a sex slave, that her alien will use her as he sees fit, until he tires of her or he will take her away to one of their centers and leave her to other men to use. He asks her to get some info for the Resistance, in that way at least she can help other women.

Now the book gets boring as hell. Mia never does anything. She goes to study, then home to have sex. while other novels have gun fire, dead bodies and high speed chases the author in this case fills our time with descriptions of interior decor and vegetarian dishes. She also spends a lot of time explaining the Krinar decision to travel to Earth, witch although well thought trough is irrelevant because it doesn't lead to anything. The emotional drama continues with Mia thinking that she will be used as a sex slave witch annoyed me because Mia never thought to dig out any information whatsoever. She chose to take the word of a guy whom she spent a total of five minutes talking, over her own common sense and survival instinct. If that was me i would have moved heaven and earth to get some info, even confronted the guy myself no matter what. but you see, if Mia did in fact do something like that it would deny the author the ability to take us on a cheesy, transparent ride of an obvious misunderstanding. Now i haven't finished this book, but let me guess: The resistance guy wasn't very truthful, and charl doesn't mean what she thinks it means. *gasp*

Now the most important part! No erotica is erotica without the sex and only steaming sex scenes could have saved this book but unfortunately Zaires proved to be as creative in that aspect as she was in her plot and the end result was comical to say the least. She chose to interrupt any steamy moment in the book that would have lead the reader to an enjoyable sex scene by her colorful descriptions that ranged from poetic to clinical in just one sentence. Now this is not a direct quote but close enough: - Mia was slowly kissing him ,and licked the seam of his lips, and then he opened his mouth and reached out with his own appendage...-


Yah, i bet all the girls out there can relate, cause you know girls when you're getting hot with your man (or woman, whatevaz ur flava), you just wanna scream:" Yeah baby, lick my vagina with your oral appendage!!!!"

Cuz that's just hot, you feel me???

Her sex scenes were sometimes infused with these random descriptions more fitting for an medical exam, slapping the reader right out of any erotic experience he or she might feel. I kept having an image of a middle aged balding guy with gasses in a white lab coat saying: "We interrupt this shag to dissect this cadaver!"

This book was a mish-mash of all sorts ant at the end it just didn't do it for me....