Tithe
I hate when this happens....You start a book, it seems ok, like it has potential and you are happy. Although this is a YA novel, it's targeted for mature audiences. Just because the main characters are underage doesn't mean that the story is for little kiddies. I hate it when authors try and make a mash up of Disney goes to Hell. It NEVER works.
Either you are writing a kiddie novel, or not. Choose one and stick with it, please. You can't talk about agelessness and cruelty of heart experienced by those who have been enslaved for lifetimes, then have the characters talk and think like they are thirteen.
You can't talk about sexual empowerment and jaded hearts scarred by betrayal, then introduce scenes where holding hands is awkward.
You can't try and create a believably powerful character, then stick them in bloody diapers. It makes the entire story ridiculous.
