Hounded

Hounded - Kevin Hearne Here's the thing. Most authors who write fantasy and novels with supernatural elements tend to tiptoe around characters that are supposed to be really old. Not many can pull it off. Human age can be divided into two categories: one – being older and having a severe allergy to stupid, and two – being young and severely stupid. This is not a knock on being young and naïve, it is a beautiful and a magical time where the world looks so endless and good because you don't know it. People would say at those times “The world is your oyster”. And it's true, but also as you get older that oyster begins to stink more and more. It's a natural process.

So when you give me a guy who has seen 21 centuries my brain instantly creates a supporting image.

old guys

But no.

This guy has tattoos and is fluent in the meaningless and shallow one liners that are usually attributed to the witless frat boys, and he behaves in the way of a petulant child.

In one sentence his mouth is full of descriptions of historical events and famous and not so famous mythical creatures and gods he has met. In the other however, he is skeptical in the magic other creatures have and use that is slightly different than his. So you expect me to believe that he has lived for 2100 years and all he has to show for it is a keg stand? Seems legit....



But wait!!!

It would appear that it has both more dragons and more shit! Hooray!

Imagine every folklore everywhere, and I mean worldwide. Imagine all the classic paranormal cliches and all the expected cheese that follows them...you did???

Good!

Welcome to the world of the Iron Druid! This was not a book, this here boys and girls was a tossed salad of Greek mythology, Roman mythology, Irish folklore, Scottish folklore, and everything and anything you can think of. Every big name that had any rumored connection with anything supernatural made an appearance. It left me with a feeling that the author couldn't stick to one thing and make it work for him.

I have heard that this book was bad from a friend of mine a long time ago, I should have listened. I got pulled in by a high rating. This was not an epic fantasy, this was a yard cheese sale.

I can see this novel become a series on some B-rated syfy channel. It has all the elements – the overly fake cheerfulness, the witty banter scripted right of some webpage listing the 101 best one liners, the unresearched fighting scenes that make no sense, such as him stopping a sword that was going to decapitate him with his arm and the blade sank only to the bone. Yup – he blocked a blow that would go trough the incredibly resilient neck tissue and vertebrae with his arm, and his arm was fine. It goes on, and on, and on, and on, zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....