The Kiss of Deception
WARNING! A RAVING RANT AHEAD! DNF on the grounds of the heroine being a BB. (basic bitch)I am known in my time to DNF a book, but rarely I give up before the hundred mark, but sometimes you pick up a book and this happens:
Definitions of a BB amongst others are:
*-a bum-ass woman who think she the shit but really ain't
*one who has no personality; dull and irrelevant
*Somebody who is boring and unoriginal.
Allow me to expand on that. We open the novel with a girl getting some pretty hot body art in preparation for her wedding. She happens to be a princess – and in a short space of time we are presented with a bucket load of mommy and daddy issues experienced by the heroine that usually seem to accompany children bread for high roles of state. The author is setting the scene. The wedding is imminent, and the princess excuses herself for a moment to freshen up, then grabs her maid and runs away in a most spectacular fashion you could ever possibly thing of. Just out the door and goodbye. Ok, I thought, now we're getting somewhere. Except we weren't...
The princess of her people leaves her wedding day and the fate of her nation in the air because she believes she will to marry a guy that is older than her, like her mother did. What she considers to be a toad. So she considers her daddy – you know the one whose approval was so desperate for a minute ago – a toad. Ok, next. Her Majestic Exellence then proceeds to run away, in her high profiled wedding dress, and her high profiled wedding cloak, witch happens to be encrusted with jewels to a dark forest with no preparations in place whatsoever. By that I mean NONE! Zip, zilch, zero, nada, nix, dust, NONE...
She spends her night in her wedding dress, by a fire basically signalling to the entire world her location with no protection, no skill in defence whatsoever. Anyone who was interested could have easily just came towards the friggin fire.. She spends a total of ten days in her ridiculously open wedding dress and encrusted cloak I think because she had nothing else to wear only to throw it into a thicket of brambles, and uses her dagger to pry the jewels off my wedding cloak and then send the mutilated remains downriver tied to a log. I mean her reasoning for need of money was sound, but then If the cloak was found by anyone who recognized it, I hoped the presumption would be that I had drowned...
Er...in case they conveniently miss that the jewels are missing, and the cloak is TIED to the log.
But then she rides to town...how???Buck ass naked? If she had less conspicuous clothes she wouldn't spend 10 days announcing to the entire world that she's rich, royal and on the run parading in her completely opened backed wedding dress. But now that she ditched it in the brambles, what is she wearing?
Moving on...
On the run she trades loose gemstones and overpays three sapphires to a trader to forget where they came from, and spend a good amount of coin for more silence when they downgraded thoroughbred horses for donkeys. They were going for the inconspicuous by being completely nuts. Sure as hell the random farmer and merchant will not forget the people who overpay for no reason whatsoever, and will value and keep silence on the matter.
Dear sweet lord, the stupid is strong in this one!
And don't forget that all of this happened because she thought that she has to marry an old guy that she doesn't love. Later when she meets the prince in disguise and falls for him it will all be ok. Because he is good looking. God what an absolute shallow moron of a woman. Are you telling me that she in her position couldn't have asked some of her courtiers what her intended looks like all this time? Is she simply that fucking incompetent? Her immature running away temper tantrum that is the unfortunate plot of this novel could have been avoided by asking one simple question...
